Stay
by Raechellaa19
Summary: Three months. Three months of pent up feelings and one look at Clarke was all it took for them to go out the window. Clarke arrived at Arcadia injured and Bellamy doesn't know what or how he is supposed to feel. Oh, and Clarke just happens to be pregnant.
1. Clarke is back

Three months.

Bellamy had _three months_ of pent up feelings. Yet when he saw Clarke standing at the entrance to Arcadia he couldn't bring himself to voice any of them. What mattered was that she had come back.

The atmosphere was tense as Bellamy walked towards the gate and Clarke kept walking towards him. The guards looked at him, unsure of what to do. It was so silent Bellamy could hear every move that was being made. There wasn't a protocol for what he had to. Clarke was one of the 100, one of them, but she made her choice perfectly clear when chose to leave them, to leave him. After three months Bellamy had to admit it still hurt a little.

From what Bellamy could tell from the look of pain on her face she was hurt, his protective instincts kicked in immediately. It killed Bellamy to not know how serious her injuries were. The whole world seemed to stop as Clarke stopped and struggled to hold herself upright. Everything happened in slow motion as Bellamy rushed to catch Clarke right before she hit the ground.

Everything after that was a mixture of chaos and confusion. He heard the two guards yell for someone to get Abby. At least someone was thinking, that should be him giving the orders. That was the sole purpose Clarke felt like she could leave. Because he was there to look after them.

Bellamy snapped out of it long enough to try to find where the blood was coming from. After a terrifying moment he found a wound coming from her stomach. Bellamy ripped a piece of his shirt and lifted Clarke's up. He pressed as hard as he could on her wound as he tried to stop the bleeding. A few seconds passed before Clarke's eyes fluttered open.

"Bellamy." Clarke whispered with all the strength she could. It took every ounce of strength in her to keep her eyes open, but she would do it, for Bellamy. The moment Bellamy looked in Clark's eyes three months of pent up anger and betrayal faded. All he could focus on was keeping Clarke alive.

"Your hair." Clarke let out a laugh. At that point Bellamy was sure she had to be hallucinating. "It's so long…" Clarke trailed off.

"You have a whole in your stomach and your complaint is that I need a haircut?" Bellamy let out a small laugh himself. He could feel the people's curious eyes on him, but he didn't care. All of his focus was on Clarke until he saw her mother running towards him with a couple of the guys carrying a stretcher.

"What happened?" Abby panicked as she looked over her daughter's injuries. It was something no mother should have to see and something she would never forget.

"I don't know." Bellamy said helplessly. That wasn't like him. As strange as it sounded, since they landed on Earth he was the one person who always knew what was happening with Clarke. Now he clueless and it terrified him more than anything.

"Help me get her on the stretcher." Abby ordered the guards and the knelt down beside Clarke. "I need you to apply pressure until we get in medbay." Abby instructed Bellamy. Her voice was far away as he looked at the blood staining his hands….Clarke's blood. "Bellamy?" Abby yelled and snapped him out of his trance.

"Yeah, okay." Bellamy nodded.

"Mom?" Clarke asked hopeful. If anyone could fix her it was her mom. Her mom could fix anyone.

"I'm right here sweetie." Abby smoothed her hair down and gave the guards a nod to start carrying her to inside the Ark. Once they were inside everything happened a mile a minute. Abby was giving orders and he felt himself being pushed out of the way. Abby looked at him when she saw him starting to object.

"Bellamy, we got it from here." Abby tried to tell him. Abby knew from the look in his face that she would never be able to understand what Clarke and Bellamy had been through together all in a course of a year.

"But-" Bellamy weakly tried to think of any reason why he was needed there. Clarke left him, but that didn't mean he would leave her if given the choice. Clarke needed him whether she realized it or not. They would always need each other.

"Bellamy, I need room, so I need you to leave." Abby said forcefully. She knew that if Bellamy thought he was getting in the way of them helping Clarke then he would leave.

"I'll be outside." Bellamy sighed. Leaving Clarke was one of the hardest things he had to do. Bellamy wished Clarke had felt that way before she left. Like that _three months_ of feelings came charging back. Clarke had left him and suddenly she turned up out of the blue. After Bellamy was sure Clarke was going to live they were going to have a long talk.

"Mom…." Abby looked up from cleaning her daughter's wound. From the looks of it she had been stabbed.

"Everything is going to be okay sweetie." Abby tried to console her daughter when she saw the look of panic on her face. It was a look that was rare for Clarke. Abby knew what had happened must have been bad or Clarke was scared.

"I have…..to….tell you…" Clarke struggled with each breath as she tried to tell Abby something. It was something that Abby had to know before she treated her any further. Something that would change everything in Arcadia, between her and Bellamy.

"Whatever it is it can wait." Abby said and focused on Clarke's wound. "Save your strength."

"You're not listening….you have to save her…" Clarke eyes grew more panicked and her voice became more desperate. Abby tried to calm her down so she could save her strength. She was going to need it.

"Who, Clarke?" Abby looked at her daughter, confused. As far as she heard she arrived at Arcadia alone. Maybe it had something to do with why she was stabbed. Clarke was always trying to save someone. "The baby….." Clarke manage wot whisper before she lost consciousness.

Abby blinked as she tried to wrap her head around what her daughter had told her. Baby? It could have been anyone's baby. Still, it made sense, why Clarke hadn't returned in three months. What if Clarke was pregnant? What did that mean for Arcadia?

It was then that Abby realized she recognized the desperation in her daughter's voice. It was of a mother who was willing to do whatever she could to save her child's life. Looking at her daughter Abby knew she didn't need the machine to tell her the truth. Clarke was having a baby. The only question she was left with was, who was the father?

Bellamy couldn't stop pacing as he listened for any sound that would indicate what was happening in medical. The not knowing was what was killing him. If he could just see her then could assess the situation and figure out a solution. Bellamy wished it was that simple. What happened to Clarke wasn't something he could just fix.

"How is she?" Bellamy looked to see his sister. Bellamy shook his head as he took a seat in a metal chair. He couldn't bring himself to say the words out loud. "I don't know, and honestly it's killing me." Octavia took a seat beside him.

"Clarke is one of the strongest people I know. She's going to fight." Octavia tried to convince him. Clarke was her favorite person at the moment, but at one time they were friends. She hoped one day they could get back to that.

"She's been fighting since I've met her." Bellamy said with a smile. Everything Clarke was faced with she fought her way out of. It was who she was as a person. She was the only one who challenged Bellamy at every turn. He couldn't respect her more for it.

"Bellamy." The brother and sister stood when they heard Abby's voice.

"How is she?" Bellamy asked, impatiently.

"She's stable." Abby let out a sigh and told Bellamy as much as Clarke would want him to know. If she was right and Clarke was pregnant, that was something Clarke should tell him herself.

"Can I see her?" Bellamy begged.

"She is still unconscious, but make it quick." Abby seemed hesitant, but moved out of Bellamy's way so he could see Clarke.

Seeing Clarke like that was something Bellamy would never forget. Her skin was an abnormal shade of white and Bellamy could see the bags under her eyes. It was clear she hadn't had a good night sleep in a while. Even with her being unconscious, Bellamy knew he had to tell her how he really felt. Because once she woke up he would look into her blue eyes and all those feelings would melt away.

"You left, Clarke, you left me. And now you show up here. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to react? There's a part of me that is happy that you came back at all. Then the other part of me is mad you left at all. I told you I will always be there for you and I meant it, but it hurts too much to be near you right now. I'm sorry." Bellamy told her even though she wasn't listening.

Bellamy bent forward to give the girl a kiss on her forehead. That was as much contact as he would allow himself to have with Clarke. He would be there for Clarke as a friend. Anything else was dangerous to his mental health. Clarke was his friend nothing more. Bellamy gave the girl one last glance before he left the room. Unaware the Clarke could hear everything he was saying.

Clarke didn't blame him for being mad. He had every right to be. Bellamy was the one who made the hard decisions with her and never once did he walk away. Since they met Bellamy thought he was weak one, but Clarke was the coward. That made her decision that much easier. As soon as she could travel she would leave Arcadia and Bellamy behind. She only Bellamy could forgive her if he ever found out what she was hiding. Clarke could live the rest of her life without Bellamy knowing she was pregnant. But, she was pregnant and one person found out it was a matter of time before Bellamy did. She only hoped he wouldn't hate her when she did.


	2. One last goodbye

_To be fair, Clarke knew it was a bad idea the moment she walked into Bellamy's room. With his shirtless back to her she had plenty of time to run off in the opposite direction. They had said their goodbyes. Clarke should have left it at that. If anyone was being honest the sight of Bellamy shirtless would be enough to make in anyone stop in their tracks. Clarke hesitated before she cleared her throat to let him know she was there._

 _A thousand different possible reactions went through Clarke's head. If it was her then she would kick him out and tell him to get lost. What she didn't expect was for Bellamy to instantly grab her in a tight hug._

 _"Miss me already, Princess." Clarke could hear the teasing in his voice. She almost felt sorry for Bellamy because beneath the teasing she could hear hope in his voice. He thought she was back for good. That made what Clarke had to do that much harder._

 _"Bellamy, I made my choice and that is still my choice." Clarke tried to beg him to understand she was doing what she thought she had to._

 _"I don't understand. Why are you here?" Bellamy asked, confused. The only response Clarke gave him was when she reached up and briefly put her lips to his._

 _"Because I needed this. I needed one moment that was just about us." Before Bellamy could respond Clarke put her lips back on Bellamy's, but it was different then the first. The second kiss held a hunger and desperation that Clarke had realized had been building for a while. She needed this. So did he._

 _"Stay," Bellamy whispered, out of breath. Clarke didn't respond as she pulled Bellamy's head down to hers and continued to kiss him. Clarke knew it was a mistake, but she didn't care. Bellamy was messy and complicated…..and exactly what Clarke wanted._

 _That night Bellamy and Clarke had one last goodbye. The next morning Clarke left before Bellamy woke up._

* * *

The first thing Clarke noticed was the light. Since she had been injured it was like everything was gaining clarity. Slowly the shapes and objects came to her. Clarke could see the light coming through the windows of med bay. She realized in was the first night in three months that she had slept through the night.

Everything seemed to hit her all at once and so did a floodgate of emotions she wasn't ready for. The images came to her in pieces. Being stabbed. Bellamy. Her mom. It was like everything over the past three months had come knocking on her door. Not to mention everything Bellamy had said to her when he thought she wasn't listening. Clarke knew the best thing for everyone was to pretend like she had never heard any of it. She was going to heal then she was going to leave Arcadia.

Clarke tried to focus all of her energy on trying to lift her head up. When she managed to sit up on her own she braced herself to get of the bed. She noticed she wasn't wearing her own blood soaked clothes. She knew she would to have to thank Octavia who probably had changed her. The thought had Clarke panicking. Did she realize the secret Clarke was keeping? Clarke tried to keep herself calm. Maybe no knew. The only way to find out was to face the people she chose to leave behind.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." A voice said from the corner of the room. She looked and saw a man fiddling with some type of motor on her mother's desk. Never in her life had she been so happy to see Kyle Wick. If anyone could make her at ease before she faced a group of people who hated her, it was Wick. No one ever realized it, but Wick didn't take everything at face value, he formed his own opinions.

"What are you doing here?" As happy as she was that he was the only one there she was still confused as to why he was watching her sleep. To be honest, without a really good explanation, Clarke realized it was kind of creepy.

"Your mother has a whole camp to look after, she wanted me here so you wouldn't wake up alone." Kyle gave her a lazy smile that looked like it belonged on him. Kyle noticed the worried look on her face and said, "They're not going to stare if that's what you're worried about. They have already moved on to the next drama." Kyle tried to comfort her and Clarke was surprised that it work. Until that moment she didn't realize how worried she had been to expect to see narrowed eyes and hushed whispers.

"And that would be?" Clarke asked curiously. A lot could change in three months. Clarke had to wonder how much. Where the people she loved still the people she had left behind?

"Something, about Monty punching Harper's boyfriend." Wick said as he tried not to laugh. He could hear Raven's voice inside his head telling him it wasn't funny. With Clarke gone and Bellamy barely putting one foot in front of the other, Raven and him had become the replacement parents to a whole bunch of orphaned teenagers.

"You're kidding? Monty Green?" Clarke tried to keep her voice calm. She leaves and suddenly Bellamy let the family they built go to Hell. He might be mad at her, but there was plenty of anger to go around.

"That's the one." Wick said without looking up from whatever he was doing. He obviously couldn't pick up on Clarke's feelings.

"Unbelievable." Wick didn't get a chance to stop her before she marched out. She didn't stop even when she muscles cried with every step she took. She had to find Bellamy. Because she knew she would find Bellamy with Monty, who she was still in shock over. The kid she left behind wouldn't have hit anyone. He also wouldn't allow a bunch of people to be killed to save his own life. Then again maybe he really had changed, like the rest of them.

She found Monty sitting in an empty hallway with Bellamy pacing in front of him. She almost would have found it comical if it wasn't for the grave look on both of their faces. The only injury she could spot on Monty was a black eye. She hated to see the other guy.

"What had gotten into you lately? Between Japer's drinking and you punching people I think we need to have a 100 intervention." With the amount pf pacing he was doing, Clarke was surprised he wasn't getting dizzy. Though his back was to her, Clarke could tell Bellamy was fuming.

"Would I be invited to this intervention?" Clarke tried to break through the tension. By the looks in the both of their faces it was the wrong thing to do.

"Look, if it isn't the princess herself?" Monty sneered. Clarke took a step back like she had been slapped. Not that his anger was uncalled for, but because he expected the remark from anyone, but Monty.

"Clarke, what are you doing? You should be in bed?" Bellamy was at her side in a flash. He wa instantly going into overprotective mode as he checked her over to make sure she was okay.

"And let you have all the fun? Never." Clarke tried to tease. Bellamy gave her a look of annoyance as he clenched his jaw. Clarke noticed he must have gotten better at controlling his temper.

"Hey, Monty." Clarke tried to give the teen a small smile. Monty made eye contact then looked away.

"If it isn't the martyr herself." Monty said. Okay, she deserved that.

"Monty!" Bellamy yelled like he was scolding a child. In a way Clarke and Bellamy had gotten used to playing the roles of parents to a bunch of delinquents.

"What you're the only one allowed to insult the Princess, At least I do it to her face." Monty smirked before he stomped off to God knows where. So, that's what Bellamy really thought. He was just too polite to clue her in to how he was really feeling. Lucky, her. Clarke took a deep breath as she turned to walk away. Coming back to Arcadia had been a mistake.

"Clarke," Bellamy reached a hand out to grab her elbow enough to keep her in place. When Bellamy tried to read the expression on her face she focused on the floor. Anything to having to look in Bellamy's eyes. One look and she was a goner.

"No, its okay, everyone is entitled to their own feelings." Clarke tried to brush it off. She did believe that Bellamy had a right to his own feelings. Just like she had every right to hers. She felt it was best for the 100 if she left, so she did. "You can be mad at me all you want, but I knew I could leave because they had you. And I knew you would put them first. And this is what I come home to?" Clarke felt her anger start to rise. He wasn't the only one who had something to be mad about.

"What did you expect?" Bellamy questioned. She had no idea what those three months were like for him. The made the rules together and suddenly she wasn't there to keep him in line.

"I expected you to handle it." Clarke exploded without thinking. To her the 100 were her babies and she had trusted Bellamy with them.

"You weren't here, Clarke. You didn't have to look at their faces and admit you had no idea what you were doing." Bellamy's said in defeat. Everyone was counting on him-not Clarke-him.

"I would have tried." Clarke's voice grew louder. She knew they were one yell away from somebody coming to check on all the commotion. Clarke counted to three as she tried to control her breathing. All the stress and yelling couldn't be good for the baby. Not that Bellamy knew about the baby. To him there was a lot of pent up anger and unresolved feelings.

"I did try. For three whole months I tried. But then Jasper started drinking and Monty started fighting. Eventually my own sister started avoiding me. They didn't need or want my help, Clarke. They wanted you and you ran away. From these kids….from me." Clarke could hear the pain in Bellamy's voice. For a moment she hated that she left. Maybe if she had stayed then she wouldn't need one last goodbye. Then she wouldn't have to raise a child she had no clue had to take care of.

"I'm sorry for leaving." Clarke said as she took a seat. Clarke took another deep breath and said, "But, they had you, Bellamy."

"A lot of good that did them." Bellamy took the seat besides Clarke. Those kids were counting on him, but he couldn't see past his own hurt to even try to help them. Clarke was wrong. Without her, there was no way they could have him.

"I know we can fix this, I am not leaving until we do." Clarke regretted the words as soon as she said them. Promising to fix things meant more time she would have to spend at Arcadia and with Bellamy. Which meant it would only get harder to hide the fact that she was pregnant. Not that she would ever tell Bellamy about the baby willingly. They could barely take care of their selves on a good day. There was no way Bellamy and she could raise a baby together.

"You're still leaving." Bellamy voice killed her as he asked the question. He still thought there was hope that she would stay in Arcadia…with him. "Stay." Bellamy begged.

"I can't." Clarke said helplessly. Everything had changed. She couldn't pretend it hadn't.

"Then we're done here." Bellamy's voice was cold as the words came out of his mouth. He stood and looked down to Clarke. Just like that, the wall he had when they first arrived on Earth, was back up.

"Bellamy wait-" Clarke tried to reach for his arm to hold him in place, but a sharp pain held her back. Clarke grasped tighter to his arm as another pain went through her, but Bellamy didn't notice as he looked at Clarke with such anger in his eyes. Anger that was well deserved.

"No, Clarke, I am doing this with you. Saying goodbye the last time was hard enough." Bellamy said through clenched teeth as he jerked her arm out of her grasp. All Clarke could do was watch his back as she walked away from her. She told herself it was for the best. If Bellamy found out about the baby then the he would never let her leave. Then she would be in her own personal Hell. No matter what she felt for Bellamy, she had to keep it inside. It was the only way she could make it through.


	3. Homecoming

Being pregnant suck, Clarke thought as she braced herself on the ship as soon as the first wave of morning sickness hit her. Not that Clarke didn't expect it to suck. To be honest she didn't know what to expect. Pregnancy wasn't exactly a topic most people on the Ark talked about. When they did they kept it clinical and cold. It wasn't until the first time Clarke felt her baby move inside of her that she realized the amount of love she already had for her child.

Clarke smiled as she heard the laughter of teenagers, she glanced up and saw them playing some form of soccer. If she hadn't left, there was a good chance she would be right alongside them. Most of the original 100 she had saw when the left the Ark gave her small smiles, but none of them came to talk to her. It was like she was a stranger. In some ways she was.

Looking among the teenagers she saw a familiar head of brown hair. She wasn't enjoying the game like the rest of them. No, her leg was preventing that. The woman seemed to have a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. A smile Clarke recognized on herself for too long. Eventually, Clarke stopped smiling altogether. The woman's eyes seemed to reach hers at the same moment. She didn't have shock in her eyes like Bellamy or bitterness like Monty.

Clarke didn't have time to think of what she should say to the woman before the woman was limping over to where Clarke stood. Clarke tried deep breaths and force herself to not throw up.

"Should you even be out of bed?" A voice said from behind her. She looked up and saw the mechanic come to stand beside her. Many things had changed, but Raven still looked the same, happier, but still the same. Rough around the edges and still ready for a fight at any moment.

"You look like crap." Raven smiled at the blonde. Even though to Raven no matter how she looked Clarke had the natural beauty to her, one that came from being the leader, the one who had to take control. It was one of the many ways Clarke had grown up down on Earth.

"You too." Clarke smiled sympathetically at the woman. All joking inside Clarke knew Raven was in pain, physically and mentally. She grimaced with every step she took and her smile seemed to be more forced "So, I heard you replaced me." Clarke tried to joke.

"No one could ever replace you, Clarke." Raven said seriously. "Do you want to tell me why in the Hell you wandered back here, almost dead?" the mechanic questioned. Clarke could tell Raven was trying her best not to push, but she knew she owed Raven and everyone a real explanation to all the questions they had.

"Not really." Clarke said sarcastically. Luckily for her that was good enough for Raven. "Have you seen Bellamy?" Clarke looked around the many teenagers for any sign of the man. She half-expected him to be playing soccer with the younger kids or giving orders to the older ones. There was no sign of him anywhere. Without knowing why, it worried Clarke that she couldn't see him.

"Yea, I'm pretty sure he hates me." Clarke tried to say nonchalantly. She didn't want anyone to know how things between her and Bellamy were more than awkward, it was messy and complicated. Two words that couldn't describe Bellamy Blake any more perfectly.

"Can you blame him?" Raven said before she could stop herself. No one ever accused Raven of being subtle. After seeing the taken back look on Clarke's face she said, "I'm sorry, that wasn't fair and really none of my business."

"You're right." Clarke told her. "The way I left…it wasn't fair…especially to Bellamy." Clarke tried to find the words to explain that she understands how they felt. She knew the way she left wasn't fair to anyone, but no one tried to understand why she felt she had to leave.

"Even if he doesn't want to admit it, he missed you. We all did." Raven put a comforting hand on Clarkes shoulder. It felt like the first real resemblance of coming home.

"Thanks." Clarkes said. When she couldn't see Bellamy she tries looking around to see if she could find someone else she needed to talk to. "Have you seen my mom?"

"Yea, apparently she is taking care of the kid Monty beat up" Raven informed the woman then she looked surprised at the words she had said. " Wow, I never thought I would say those words in a sentence before."

"I better go find my mom." Clarke said with a smile as she said her goodbyes to the other woman.

"I'll better go check on Wick. He is supposed to be looking after the younger kids today. God only knows what trouble they have managed to get themselves into." After everything Wick had been responsible for it was still strange to Raven that parents still let Wick watch their kids.

Clarke found in mom in the infirmary. She was instructing a teenager of how to care for his injury and to see her in a day or two. Clarke gave the boy a smile as she moved to let him leave. Then she turned to get a good look at her mother. In her whole life she had never seen her mother looked so worn down and tired. After a couple seconds of taking all in her mother had turned and spotted Clarke in the corner. Clarke had wanted to disappear more than she had in that moment. Even if her mother didn't know for sure Clarke was pregnant, Clarke felt like she could tell by just looking at her.

"You shouldn't be out of bed." Okay, not exactly the warm welcome she had been hoping for. She at least expected a hug or 'I'm glad you're here'. The other people in the room seemed to pick up on her mother's tone and managed to leave the room. Her mother and her were the only one left in the infirmary.

"You know, don't you?" One look at her mother avoiding eye contact and she knew.

"I suspected." Abby's tone softened. "You were incoherent when you showed up." Abby saw Clarke's expression go from worried to panicked. "No one else knows. Or even heard you mention the baby." Abby said to ease her nerves. "The wound wasn't too deep, you just passed out from loss of blood. Everything with the baby looks fine."

"I really screwed up, mom." Clarke could feel her eyes start to water. Stupid hormones. She was stuck with a baby she wasn't ready for, Bellamy hated her, and she didn't have a home for her baby. If Bellamy knew about the baby, then he would make sure she was tied to Arcadia, but that wouldn't erase why she left in the first place. Abby took one look at her daughter and took her in her arms.

"It's going to okay, just start at the beginning." Abby pulled away from her daughter and tried to keep her calm.

"I wish it was that easy." Clarke said as she took a seat. She knew once she told her mother about her one-night hookup then her whole opinion of her daughter would change. She would fall from the pedestal everyone always put her on., even Bellamy.

"How far along are you." Abby tried to get her to focus.

"Three months." Clarke said as she tried to collect herself.

"Three months? That would mean…." Abby's words fell flat as she finally realized why Clarke was so worked up. "That father is in Arcadia." Clarke finished for her. It was the first time she had actually said it out loud. Even if she hadn't said Bellamy's name directly, she felt some relieve in just saying the father was from Arcadia.

"Does Bellamy know?" Abby asked curiously.

"Why would he?" Clarke was confused as to why Bellamy would be the first name she brought up when she learned her daughter was pregnant.

"Clarke, you may be able to lie to yourself, but I see right through you. The only person you even remotely have a relationship with is Bellamy." Abby told her daughter. Clarke may have been cold and logical when it came to expressing her feelings, but Abby could see it written across Bellamy's face. Every time he looked at her daughter with that look between admiration and care, it just reaffirmed what Abby already knew. Bellamy Blake was in love with her daughter.

"He can't find out." Clarke snapped without meaning to. She had worked for three months to keep her secret. She planned on keeping forever before she came back to Arcadia and if she had anything to say about Bellamy would never know.

"These things have a way of coming out." Abby stated the obvious. Not like it was anything Clarke hadn't thought of before. Even if she had managed to stay away from Arcadia while she had the baby, there was no telling when Bellamy, her friends, or even her mom would track her down. And when they did they would find out the truth. "Why wouldn't you come home as soon as you found out."

"Because she was never going to tell him." A new voice startled the mother and daughter. "Tell me, between breaking into Mount Weather and you leaving, when exactly did you find the time to screw my brother?" Octavia snapped.


	4. Tell me

It was on her birthday. That was the simplest answer Clarke could come up with, even though Clarke knew if wasn't the answer that Octavia wanted. It was hard to believe she was only 18, but she was 18 and very stupid. Now, Octavia was looking at her with equal parts of shock and anger. Clarke didn't blame her. Instead Clarke stood silently, avoiding eye contact with the other woman while her mom took that as her cue to leave the room.

"It's a simple question, Clarke." Octavia said as she was growing impatient. Clarke took one more look at the woman in front of her and knew the truth was going to come out, it had to. She didn't see any other way around it.

"The night I left." Clarke admitted.

"Unbelievable." Octavia scoffed.

"I know, I screwed up." Clarke tried to push her tears below the surface. She had made it that far without losing, she wasn't about to start now. Octavia knew, know what was she going to do about it?

"Well, you didn't get yourself pregnant." Octavia said. As mad as she was at Clarke, her brother was equal parts to blame. "Were you ever going to tell him?" Octavia asked in a softer tone. She was still mad, but she also didn't feel good yelling at the mother of her future niece or nephew.

"I haven't really thought that far." Clarke lied.

"It's time to start." The woman advised her. It was painful to think about Octavia not knowing she was planning to leave as soon as she was well enough and she was sure the baby was safe.

"Please, Octavia, you can't tell him." Clarke begged. She knew Bellamy better than anyone and if he learned they truth from anyone, but her then there would be no repairing that relationship.

"I won't." Octavia finally said. "You will."

"I just need some time to figure things out." Hopefully Clarke could try to buy herself a few days until she could figure out what she was really going to do. One thing she knew for sure was that Bellamy was not going to find out in the next couple of days.

"Trust me, with Bellamy, it's better if you do it sooner or later." Octavia tried to tell her. Clarke knew she was right.

"Thank you." Clarke said, "All I need is a couple days and I'll tell him."

"Tell who, what?" a new voice asked from the doorway. Clarke nervously looked from Octavia to her brother. The father of her unborn child.

"Nothing for you to worry about, big brother." Octavia said, nonchalantly with a shrug. "I have some stuff to do so I'll leave you two to talk." Octavia gave one last meaningful look to Clarke before she left the infirmary.

"What was that about?" From the looks of it his sister and Clarke were in a pretty heated conversation.

"Like she said, nothing for you to worry about." Clarke shrugged. "What's up?"

"I was wondering if you could stitch me up?" Bellamy smiled sheepishly as he held up his hand which was wrapped in a makeshift bandage. "I was looking for your mom, but since you're here."

"Jesus, Bellamy, you're lucky a few stitches are all you need." Clarke sighed when she finished bandaging up his hand. She was gone for three months and he was already to back being impulsive and reckless. It was like how he was when they first met. Someone who would take risks for other people, regardless of his well-being.

"What can I say, without you around there's no one to remind me to be careful." Bellamy joked. Even though in all seriousness, Clarke was the reason he had survived as long as he did. Everyone knew that, everyone except Clarke.

"I think you've managed pretty well without me." Clarke turned her attention to cleaning up so she would have to look into his eyes. That was what got her into that mess in the first place.

"Looks can be deceiving." Bellamy sighed. He cursed himself for about to bring up the subject that would surely send her running back to wherever she came from. "With everything going on we haven't really talked about what happened the night you left."

"There's nothing to talk about." Clarke snapped. Why was he so insistent on bringing up the past? Clarke needed to keep it there, if only her sanity.

"Ouch." Bellamy try to joke to not let the hurt show. He had to admit, it stung, that she though what happened was just some cheap fling that she could easily forget. Clarke obviously wasn't buying it.

"Look, that's not what I meant, okay? Things are just...complicated." Clarke tried to find the right word between how things between her and Bellamy were. There wasn't one.

"Life is complicated, Clarke." Bellamy sighed. He tried not to focus on the fact that Clarke's hand was still on top of his. Or the fact that every time he looked into her eyes he could see the pain of everything that happened since they set foot on Earth. Knowing that he wasn't going to get anywhere on that situation he tried a different one,"Are you going to tell me what happened out there?"

"I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time." Clarke tried to brush it off like it was no big deal. That what she always did, she never complained.

"You are a terrible liar." Bellamy told her when she brought her eyes to look into his. It was the first time they had made eye contact since she had been to Arkadia.

"You never used to call me on it." Clarke gave him a small smile. Clarke always said things between her and Bellamy were messy and complicated, but she was starting to realize they were just the opposite. Bellamy made things simpler for her, and being with him was the first time in while that she wasn't worrying about screwing up.

"Things have changed, Clarke." Bellamy looked from their hands that were still touching back to eyes who he knew were holding back something from him. That's how well he knew Clarke. He knew her secrets…her pain…and what she really wanted. Bellamy wasn't just being conceited when he saw that she still wanted him

"Bellamy…." Clarke used to her eyes as she silently plead for him to stop whatever he was about to say.

"No, it's my turn to talk." Clarke was taken back at how angry he sounded. She had saw Bellamy angry, but that anger had never been directed towards her. At least, it never used to be. "You kept saying how much you needed me since we got here. Do you know what I needed after Mount Weather? It was you."

"I'm sorry that I left the way I did." Clarke tried to say, but she didn't know what she could say that would make him less angry.

"Because Clarke always does what Clarke wants." Clarke stumbled backwards and Bellamy jerked his hand out from hers. She didn't realize until that moment that having some contact with Bellamy had been comforting her.

"What do you want me to do?" Clarke finally yelled. Bellamy wasn't the only one that had something to be angry about. It was time he stopped thinking his feelings were the only ones that mattered.

"I want you to stay." Bellamy said the first thing that popped up in his head. It just happened to what he needed to most. Clarke left him to take care of the 100, but she couldn't even be bothered to help. She finally got a life away from the 100. Mount Weather was just an excuse she used to leave everyone with a clear conscious.

"You know I can't." Clarke tried to get him to understand. Bellamy was the one person she needed to understand.

"You just don't want to." Bellamy snapped.

There they were, both at a standstill. The only thing that could be heard was their heartbeats. Both were one step away from saying something that would damage their relationship forever. Neither knew how to approach the other.

Bellamy was alone and angry. Before Bellamy could really lose it he took one more look at the anger on Clarke's face and the pain in her eyes. If he was being honest, it killed him knowing that she was in pain because of her. Although his pride and his stubbornness didn't want to admit it. They thought she deserved it after everything she had put him through. His heart thought she didn't deserve any of what she been through.

Clarke was pregnant and scared. If she hadn't made her mind up by then, it was defintly made up now. There was no way she was telling him about the baby. There were too many what-ifs. She was committed to raising her baby without a father. She thought she could do a pretty good job. Even though she was upset and hurt because of Bellamy, she couldn't bring herself to hate him. Because a part of him was right. He was always there when she needed him to be and she couldn't love him more for it.


End file.
